This is NOT a Date
by XxShadowcat222xX
Summary: Will and Nico were just trying to have a peaceful lunch out of camp- which was totally NOT a date, thank you very much- when Nico's friends decide to spy on the two... because reasons, obviously. Percy is totally oblivious and still way too hung up on not being Nico's type (He's Percy Jackson. He's everyone's type) and Piper is just having a bad day. Percabeth, Solangelo? One-shot.


** I'm literally awful at posting things… I'm really sorry… *nervous laugh***

** I really haven't done much writing lately so yeah. This story is actually from a series thing my best friend and I are writing about random things that happen. It's alphabetized, but really only two of them are worth posting on here, so this is the first one. Most are just utterly random humor that my best friend, my other best friend who reads the stories, and I find hilarious, but this one is actually legitimately funny. I think. **

** Basically, I was inspired by a post I saw on somewhere – I forget where- to write this. It was the one about Nico and Will's friends spying on their date, if any of you have seen it. **

** Basically, Nico and Will are on a totally-not-date at a restaurant and Piper, Jason, Annabeth, and Leo spy on them. Percy has no idea what's going on (as usual) and the Stoll brothers tag along to make a mess of things, which is what they do because, well, Stoll brothers. Need I say more?**

** And for any of you who have read my other fics, you'll probably notice that this is different in style and everything really. I'm taking a creative writing class at school, so you can blame my amazing writing teacher for that :D (Funny story, she was really surprised after my first story in my creative writing class because it was sarcastic but I'm really quiet in her class so yeah) **

** I've rambled on enough, so now to the story!**

** Disclaimer: I do not own PJO/HOO or McDonald's or anything you might recognize except the writing.**

* * *

"Targets are moving! I REPEAT, TARGETS ARE MOVING!" Jason whisper-shouted as he peered through his binoculars.

"WHAT ARE THEIR COORDINATES?" Piper whisper-screamed back.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I'M NOT A WALKING MAP!"

Annabeth remained silent, eyes trained on the 'targets' while Piper and Jason had a very loud totally-not-argument in a bush.

"What are we doing?" Percy asked, looking down at Annabeth, who was crouching behind the bush.

"Percy, why are you standing? You're totally giving away our position! And we're spying on Will and Nico's date!" Annabeth dragged Percy down.

"Wait, what? They're dating?!" Percy spluttered.

"We're not sure, but it really seems like it," Piper momentarily stopped her argument with Jason to explain.

Reyna's voice could be heard through a walkie-talkie Jason was carrying.

"They're sitting at a table near the playpen. Guys, I'm finding it's really difficult to find reasons to yell and/or threaten Will," Reyna sighed.

"Tell him that Nico's your best friend so if he breaks Nico's heart then you'll break his face!" Piper whisper-shouted into the walkie-talkie.

"…Okay," Reyna replied.

"Wait, don't! We can't let them know we're here," Annabeth said, glaring pointedly at Percy.

"Speaking of not letting them know we're here, where are Leo, Connor, and Travis?" Reyna asked.

"Our cover is _so_ blown," Piper groaned.

"Um… guys, I found them," Reyna said through the walkie-talkie.

"Tell them to not blow our cover!" Jason hissed.

"Kinda late for that. Leo may or may not be on fire and running around the restaurant while Travis and Connor are following him with a hose and laughing hysterically."

There was silence for a moment before Piper stood up and stalked to the front door of the restaurant. Storming in, her focus immediately locked onto Nico and Will. Nico seemed very into telling a story (about what, Piper had no idea). Will sat across from him, smiling happily.

The peaceful scene of cuteness was completely ruined by the background: screaming people, panicked workers, and a certain flaming guy who totally would've cracked a joke if he wasn't being followed by two elves with buckets. Since elves aren't exactly known for hitting their targets, there was water on almost everything but the flaming person… who was immune to fire… which everyone seemed to have forgotten.

They also seemed to have overlooked the fact that the flaming person was Leo Valdez and Leo Valdez loves practical jokes and freaking people out just because he can. That was probably an important thing to remember.

Only Nico and Will weren't panicking because Jason, Annabeth and Percy had all ran into the building by then, screaming loudly. Every source of water in the building soon erupted as Percy raised it and directed it at Leo.

"Dude, it's called a joke!" Leo groaned, soaked from head to toe.

"Oh. Sorry," Percy shrugged. Seeming to finally get what was going on, he rushed over to stand crouched behind Nico, who was still seated. Percy scrutinized Will's faced, who still didn't notice him.

"So is _he_ your type?" Percy asked defensively.

Nico started, shoving Percy away, now flushed red as he stood up. Will just blinked.

"What the Hades, Percy? What are you doing here?" Nico yelled angrily. His eyes shifted over to where Piper, Jason, and Annabeth were squealing, Reyna was smirking, Leo was soaking wet, and the Stolls were clutching an empty bucket each. "Were you spying on us?!"

"No, we just… like burgers!" Jason snatched a burger off of some guy's plate. He made an over exaggerated show of enjoying the one bite he took. He spit it out immediately. "That's disgusting! Where are we? McDonald's? Ewwwwwww!"

"So, _is _he your type" Percy pried.

"Percy!" Nico hissed, making a 'stop talking now or you'll be like those headless chickens' gesture.

Will just smirked, standing up beside Nico.

"Yeah, Neeks, _am _I your type?" Will asked.

Annabeth, Piper, and Jason stopped squealing, looking at Nico. Annabeth muttered something about 'stupid cliffhangers'.

"Oh my Gods! Why!" Nico threw his hands in the air (like he just didn't care).

"Am _I _your type?" Percy poked Nico's head.

"Percy, I told you before, I'll tell you again, you're not my type," Nico groaned.

"I'm _Percy Jackson_. I'm _everyone's _type," Percy did what looked to be his best impression (which wasn't good at all) of Flynn Ryder's smolder (or whatever the heck it was called).

Desperate to get out of this embarrassing situation, Nico blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, "Piper thinks you look unimpressive!"

Piper jolted out of her suspense-haze, "Wh-"

She was cut off by a completely over exaggerated gasp from Percy, "Unimpressive? _Unimpressive_? Say that to my face, ya limp noodle!"

"That was just a first impression! I think you're very impressive now!" Piper held up her hands to demonstrate her point.

"Excuse me?" Annabeth practically yelled. "You think my boyfriend looks impressive?"

"That's not what I meant, I swear!" Piper yelped.

"Then what _did _you mean?" Annabeth quirked one eyebrow, hands on her hips.

"I mean, he's not very… hero-looking but he's still attractive-"

"WHAT?" Annabeth shrieked.

"Can we go back now?" Piper asked weakly.

"Oh no we can't, but until I hit you repeatedly with this chair!" Annabeth heaved a chair off the ground. Piper screamed, taking off through the aisles of the McDonald's.

In other news, Percy had no idea what had just occurred between Piper and Annabeth, and had instead decided to continue interrogating Nico.

"So, Neeks, which one of us do you find, in Piper's words, more attractive?" Percy asked, gesturing between himself and Will. Nico just groaned and decided to hide his face in Will's general shoulder area (because the top of Nico's head just barely made it above Will's shoulder).

Percy visibly deflated at Nico's response, taking it as an answer for whatever reason he had up in his seaweed brain.

"ANNABETH! NICO SAID WILL'S HIS TYPE AND I'M NOT!" he wailed.

"Everyone but you has known that for months!" Annabeth shouted back, still chasing Piper with a chair.

Will just smiled, like that everyone included him too (it did).

"I'm _Percy Jackson. _I'm _everyone's _type," Percy repeated.

"We should just make that your catchphrase. Imagine: Percy riding into battle on his fearless black Pegasus shouting 'I'm _Percy Jackson. _I'm _everyone's _type,'" Leo deepened his voice, mocking Percy.

"Hey, it's true! Just ask Piper," Percy pointed to Annabeth and Piper.

"Actually, Piper just thinks you're attractive. There's a big difference," Nico grumbled.

"Do _you _think I'm attractive?" Percy smirked, questioning Nico.

Nico shrugged, "I guess."

"What do you mean, _you guess_?" Percy spluttered.

"I mean, I guess you're attractive, but you're still not my type," Nico explained slowly, sort of like he was talking to a small child (he kinda was).

Percy let out a strangled scream and clutched at his hair.

"But I'm _Percy Jackson_! I'm _everyone's _type!" he whined (yup, definitely a small child).

Will burst out laughing, gasping and cackling for nearly a minute before stopping suddenly.

"_I'm _Nico's type! He's _mine_! Take that, _Jackson_!" Will taunted Percy before picking Nico up bridal style and racing out the front door of the McDonald's. Percy screamed something about how 'everyone's love shall be his'… or something… and sprinted out the door after Will and Nico.

"What just happened?" Leo asked Jason.

"I have absolutely no idea."

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** In case you were wondering, I have no idea what happened at the ending there lol. When I finished this, it was late, I really kinda needed to finish it that night because spring break was starting soon and my friends really wanted to read it sooooo um please welcome Possessive Will. Didn't know he was a thing until I wrote this, so yeah**

** And I in no way ship Nico x Percy or Piper x Percy but it was funny (at least in my head) so it happened.**

** I regret nothing. Just saying.**

** (Honestly I was so surprised this came out so good, seriously this may be the best thing I've ever written)**

** Anyway, adios people of the **

** -XxShadowcat222xX-**


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